15 Behavioural Tips to Develop the Habit of Positivity
“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” – Willie Nelson
There’s no doubt about it, having a negative attitude can have a huge impact on overall health, upsetting the balance within, and being a source of additional stress in our life.
For some, negativity has been a lifelong habit. So, what can you do to effectively change this ‘inner bad language?’
#1 Commit to positive thinking. When you wake up each day give yourself a mini pep talk – what do you want to achieve? How will you react to situations? How will you avoid negative thoughts? Remember, thinking positive is a habit, this means you can learn to do it!
#2 Notice negativity. When you become aware of the negativity in your attitude, you become more conscious of your internal thoughts, and therefore you can begin to challenge this behaviour.
#3 Record negative thoughts. Make a record of any negative comments you make throughout the day. Can you see a pattern in your thoughts? Is it related to work, other people, your health? How can you begin to challenge this behaviour?
#4 Appreciate what you do have. What are you thankful for? Appreciation can turn anger, and frustration into something more positive. Focus on your strengths, or what’s good about your life. We all have weaknesses, but focusing on our strengths prevents them getting the better of us.
#5 Create a gratitude journal. At the end of each day try writing down five things that made you happy, or thankful. Are you grateful for your health? Having food to eat? Or, having children or a partner who you love?
#6 Focus on your motives. What motivates you? Maybe it’s your family, your job, your love of music, or your religion. Whatever it is, focus on that when you get discouraged.
#7 Accept that you fail sometimes. Remember, there’s no shame in making mistakes – accept them, learn from them, and move on! Michael Jordan said, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
#8 Avoid limiting beliefs. These are statements, such as “I can’t do this!” Instead try saying “How can I do this?” or “How is this possible?” This way you become more open to new possibilities and solutions. In difficult circumstances try to see opportunities to learn, grow, and experience.
#9 Focus on what you can change, rather than what you can’t. Often circumstances arise that are completely out of our control. We can’t change them, so stop worrying! If you feel your life really sucks, what can you do to change it? Try setting one or two goals now!
#10 Be educated. Read motivational books, listen to podcasts, and ask others what they did to improve their skills.
#11 Befriend positive people. There’s no doubt about it, being with naturally happy people elevates our mood. Allow their positivity to rub off on you, and learn how they react to stressful circumstances in their own life.
#12 Laugh often. Laughing has a wonderful way of reducing stressful feelings, connecting us with others, and generally making us feel better. Try to bring laughter into your life whenever possible!
#13 Help those in need. Giving your time to help others helps refocus the mind on what really matters. Do you have an elderly neighbour who could use some help? Maybe you could prepare a meal for them once each week, or offer to take them shopping. What about community volunteer work?
#14 Learn from negative experiences. Make it a your new goal to learn something from each negative life experience. This way you turn a negative occurrence into something positive.
#15 Remember, most things pass with time. There will be a tomorrow, and circumstances may change much sooner than you expect.
What I’m suggesting isn’t intended to be mindless positive thinking where you pretend everything’s okay, when clearly it isn’t. It’s more about making the choice to be positive, and learning something good from every situation.
“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.” -William Allen White
What are your tips for staying positive?
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18 Comments
liam
05.09.2008
Lovely read, thanks! #11 & #12 are my favourite and so true.
Melanie
05.09.2008
Hi Liam,
Yes, very true. Thanks for commenting!
Sumesh from Blog Creativity
05.09.2008
My favourite points would be ‘accept failure’ and avoid limiting beliefs – very true.
Sometimes people are overly optimistic and forget the fact that failure is part of life. I’m glad I’m not one of them….
PS: New to this blog, subscribed….hoping for more posts like these.
Sumesh from Blog Creativity’s last blog post..Word of warning about WordPress 2.5’s post editor bug
Melanie
05.09.2008
Hi Sumesh,
Thanks for joining us here! Yes, that’s very true, I think if you allow for failure, the fact that it’s not a surprise helps you deal with it.
Tom
05.10.2008
I think the most important one is befriending positive people, or also being with people who can help you be positive. Even the best of us have moments where we get down or become negative. Sometimes its difficult to regain our positivity on our own. I think it helps alot if there is someone close who can help you regain it. This person doesn’t have to always be positive themselves, but someone who recognizes when you need a boost. I think its also important to be a mutual relationship where both people help each other remain or regain positivity during adversity.
Melanie
05.10.2008
Hey Tom,
Yes, sometimes it is difficult to regain on our own, funny how a few good words spoken by a friend can really refocus our thoughts on what’s important.
Richard
05.11.2008
yeah I agree, I have a good group of friends I exercise with and without them I don’t think I would get out of bed. They are really positive n keeps me going.
Melanie
05.13.2008
Hi Richard,
That’s great news, we all need friends like that! Can you advise the other readers on how to make such a good group of friends?
Elaine
05.14.2008
I’ve read quite a few articles on this theme but yours is one of the best. Every tip seems realistic and achievable, although the behaviors don’t always come naturally to me, I confess. I appreciate your comment about not pretending things are ok when they really aren’t. Sometimes really bad stuff happens to good people.
So… it’s late as a write this. I think I will practice #4 and #5 this evening to end my day. Then tomorrow, I’ll come by again and read #1, #2, #3. In days to come, I’ll add the others.
Elaine’s last blog post..Diet for a hungry planet
Melanie
05.16.2008
Hi Elaine,
Thank you!! I’m encouraged by your comments, and really hope that this article helps.
I know, it’s not possible to always be on top of the world, but I think if we can learn something from negative situations and circumstances, even if it’s just a small nugget of truth, this is the best way to turn it into a positive!
Online Vastu Consultancy
12.19.2008
Very nice tips. Its very easy to be calm and live stress free life. I have heard, our thoughts can change the things around us. And if we really want to think positive and want to live a peaceful and stress free life than we have to change our thoughts. Its on our mind that we think positive or we think negative.
There are many persons whom i have seen, they never react on bad situation. They stay as cool as they were before. They never sit and cry on what happened, instead try to work on it with positive attitude and smiling face.
Such people inspire us so much..
Melanie
12.22.2008
Hi OVC,
Thanks for your comment.
I agree, we can totally change how we view situations by having a more positive attitude – and if you aren’t normally that way inclined you can work on it, that’s the great thing, it can become habit for you too!
Abhishek
04.30.2009
This is so true…I completely agree to what you have shared with us..thnks..
Abhishek’s last blog post..Swine Flu – Symptoms, Prevention and Treatment
Don
08.15.2010
Melanie,
Thanks for your site!
I have been a very negative person throughout my life but I finally realized i was the problem not the outside circumstances! In 1995 I changed from a lousy SAD diet to 85% to 95% raw diet I haven’t made it 100% yet but I will because I totally believe in it!!! The change has not been easy I did not know at the time but I had Hep C didn’t find that out until several years later. I have no problems with it at all enzyme levels are normal, was 151.
I just wanted to give God the glory and to tell you thanks for leading people in the right direction. If people want to live a positive life and CURE disease, any disease, all they have to do is change the way they think and what you’re putting into your body because it MATTERS! It clearly says in the bible “As A Man Thinks So Shall He Be!!!”
Thank you for your site may God Bless You always and abundantly!
Don Ferguson
Melanie
08.16.2010
Hi Don,
Thank you so much. I’m really interested in what you have to say… I will email you privately
Paul
11.13.2010
Thanks for outlining the above, this is a very relevant post to me at the moment. I believe that I’ve generally been quite a negative person, and so have been trying to take action to swing things in the opposite direction.
For me, #2 ‘noticing negativity’ and #10 ‘be educated’ have been the most effective. I’ve found that recognising negative thoughts instead of ignoring them and spending more time reading/learning is slowly changing my thought processes. Some way to go as yet however.
Cheers
Melanie
11.18.2010
Hi Paul,
I think the fact that you even noticed you need to make improvements is a wonderful step in the right direction. Many people don’t even reaslise how negative they are or sound. Good work
Ron
10.05.2011
Hey Melanie,
Wow !!! Read to chapter six. Chapter five
is the total wake up. Okay, the title is
too the point but, I challenge only 1 of
the six, at a time. Lazy? Ha Ha .
I require my brain to re-orginize it’s
library. My Wife’s never ending positivity
along with your tutorism embeds myself
with this thought , Today is a present
tomorrow is an adventure !!!!
Melanie, you are positivly increasing
one’s abilities & success!
Regards, Piechotta family
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