Comments on: 5 Ways to Deal with Weight Prejudice

By: Melanie

Melanie — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 12:18:39 +0000

Hi again Joyce,
I am always thankful to someone like yourself, who is diligent enough to point something out to me, but also come back to discuss it further. Sometimes people leave one comment, and you never hear from them again. So, I also appreciate your dialogue Take care, and I hope to “see” you around on Dietriffic in the coming days.

By: Joyce Garber

Joyce Garber — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 22:27:25 +0000

Thanks for your reply Melanie and for being willing to consider the comments of those who read your articles. I also appreciate the personal clarifications you have made. I appreciate your engaging in dialogue with me and hope you continue to be a help to many people. Thanks for engaging in this difficult issue and bringing light to how people faced with obesity prejudice may feel.

By: Melanie

Melanie — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 20:48:05 +0000

Thanks for your reply, Joyce. I see what you were meaning now. I didn’t even notice that when I re-read the article, which I think shows I did not intend that statement to sound how it did to you.

I certainly do not believe that obesity is always an addiction issue. Obesity is such an incredibly complicated area, and to say that this, or that, is the cause is almost impossible in most cases.

I wrote this article back in 2009, so I cannot clearly remember what point I was trying to make, but I did not mean to suggest that obesity is always the result of an addiction. I think I was trying to get across that if someone were an alcoholic or drug addict, or whatever, you might be critical of them also, but you don’t know that that is what they are, just by looking at them. Whereas when someone is overweight, it is plain to be seen, and because of that they suffer a great deal by the comments, harsh looks, etc. of others. I was trying to encourage my readers to give people the respect they deserve as human beings.

I will edit that comment, however, as I feel it must be amended. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I have updated my About the Author, also, as I had overlooked that I don’t state I’m a dietitian in there. You can find about about my credentials on my About Page, if you so desire.

I cannot speak for other dietitians, although I would be saddened to think that weight prejudice is the case for most. Personally, I work hard to try to understand and get to the bottom of the issues my clients face. I endeavor to be sensitive. I hope that it clear to my regular readers, too.

By: Joyce Garber

Joyce Garber — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 18:09:38 +0000

I didn’t know that you were a dietitian, although I still would have made the same comment. I didn’t see your education posted anywhere on the site I was linked to from google. Your about the author doesn’t mention it. I don’t assume just because people are dietitians that they have no prejudice about weight. In fact most dieticians I know do have weight prejudice.

By: Joyce Garber

Joyce Garber — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 17:56:12 +0000

I am confused by your confusion. I feel like I stated my point pretty clearly but here is the direct quote: “Remember, there are many other addictions which you could judge even more severely.”

This feels like it is stating that obesity is always a matter of addiction. That is simplistic and simply not accurate. I stated that in my initial post and doesn’t look like you addressed that. Do you believe that obesity is always an addiction issue?

I also did not say that you have nothing to offer or that you have to have worked through weight issues to offer good advice. I simply questioned it because of what appears a rather incorrectly overt statement.

Thanks for being willing to really try to understand my comment. That is refreshing.

By: Melanie

Melanie — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 10:30:18 +0000

I am sorry Joyce, but I have no idea what “last item” you are talking about? Please explain.

I have re-read this article, and I am convinced that it is as sensitive to the issues of people who struggle with their weight as I intended it to be when I wrote it. In fact, this article is all about improving the self-esteem of my readers who struggle with this.

Your question about whether I have ever been overweight puzzles me. I am a registered dietitian, if I cannot talk about weight issues, then who can? Is it necessary that all health professional must go through a period of being overweight to understand the issues?

I am fully aware that I can never understand all of the issues, which someone may have to deal with, but that is the case for most things in life. That does not mean that my advice is not valuable, and the fact that I work hard to maintain my own weight, by eating well and being active, and am successful at that, shows that I know what I am talking about, and can help others to do the same.

By: Joyce Garber

Joyce Garber — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 19:35:20 +0000

I am saddened that in the last item of your blog that you appear to lump all overweight people into the category of eating disordered. Perhaps it was not intended that way but that is how it came across to me. There are lots of reasons people are overweight and not all of them have anything to do with addiction. There are those who do fall into the addiction category but that is rarely the only reason even in those cases. It feels dismissive. Perhaps again unintentional but just further proof of how pervasive the misunderstanding about this subject is. I also find it fascinating that you are a thin person writing on weight. Have you ever struggled with your own weight issues?

By: Melanie

Melanie — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 14:30:10 +0000

Hi again VM,
I have written an article in response to your comment. You can find it here: http://www.dietriffic.com/2011/02/21/weight-loss-story/

I hope you find it helpful

Best wishes,

Melanie

By: Melanie

Melanie — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 10:26:11 +0000

Hi VM.
You have given me some inspiration for an article on this, it is a very difficult subject to address, but so important. Thank you for sharing your story.

All I can say is you are better off without a friend like her. It sounds to me like she has major issues with her own mind, despite what she may try to protray about how “prefect” her body looks.

You are amazing for losing so much weight, and also for carrying on regardless of spiteful relationships… good work, and I know you will continue to be successful

By: VM

VM — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 18:37:57 +0000

I am saddened by the small mindedness of some people. I was very suprised to experience weight loss prejudice though. When I had lost 14lbs, I was very happy to achieve that milestone. I had spent years suffering from a low body image, so after losing weight and improving my fitness, I was much more confident. I didn’t see myself as ‘there’ as I was still four stone off goal. Buf that first 14lb is special to me.

A so called friend responded by sending me a message reminding me that that I was still much bigger than her. She went onto write loads of nasty things online about me being full of myself yet had nothing to celebrate yet. The final straw was when she told me that mutual friends said a lot of nasty things about me behind my back. When I asked them they denied it – and I believe them.

Of course I was not going to let a spiteful, lying nasty little girl stop me and I have gone on to continue losing weight, exercising and working to goal. I’m very happy with each loss. But the potential for damage could have been there.

I don’t understand her behaviour. She’s a very high achiever herself so I don’t understand why she resents others achieving. She is so in love with her own body it is unreal – she never misses a chance to promote how wonderful she thinks her body is. I hope that one day ypu write an article on dealing with spiteful people after weightloss